DIVORCE & FAMILY > Divorce Mediation
What is Divorce Mediation?
It is a process in which a trained mediator serves the couple by assisting them in decision-making around all divorce related matters: child support, custody, spousal maintenance, equitable distribution, taxes, insurance, etc. The mediator does not make decisions for the parties but rather helps them make their own decisions. The result is more satisfying for the parties and generally a creates a better adherence to the terms of the agreement.
Why is it better than just going to our separate attorneys?
A divorce mediation can be what the couples chooses it to be. It is the mediators job to think of each family as unique and to help the couple sort out the needs of everyone involved, including the couple, their children, and even, at times, the grandparents. The parties can mediate a portion of the divorce issues, leaving the remainder for their attorneys to sort out, or they can determine all issues that comprise the terms of a divorce/separation agreement.
How can I protect my legal rights?
Before signing any legal papers, it is strongly advised that each party consult with his/her own attorney for review of the decisions before signing the final documents. However, this review is far less expensive to the parties and can save considerable time and emotional turmoil. If the parties want to consult with an attorney during the mediation proces, that is also a very acceptable. If a party is uncertain as to his/her rights and feels more comfortable with an attorney's advice, then it would be highly recommended. Although the focus is more on needs, interests, and concerns, at no time do mediators want their clients to feel they are giving up any of their rights.
How expensive is mediation?
Most mediations cost about half of what a litigated uncontested divorce would cost. Contested divorces are ofcourse considerably higher and reach into the six figures. Each mediator has his/her own fee structure and some even have sliding scales. It is advisable to interview several before making your decision as to who to use. However, fees should not be the only determining factor since a more experienced mediator may have a higher hourly rate but may be far more efficient in terms of time.
How do I know I am choosing a qualified mediator?
Mediation is a profession and discipline unto itself. It is not therapy nor is it legal counsel. The individual you choose should be trained and have extensive experience as a mediator. Appropriate questions to ask are:
- How long have you been a mediator?
- How much training in mediation have you had and where did you get it?
- Are you an accredited member of the New York State Council or a Practitioner Member of the Academy of Family Mediators (recently renamed to Association for Conflict Resolution)?
- How many cases have you mediated?
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