Find Mediators Near You:

3 Strategies for Effective Co-Parenting

Detailed custody resource here:

Co-parenting is arguably the most important part of separating to get right. It can also be the most challenging. To keep things simple, focus on these three guideposts. If you want more detailed advice, check out the Custody X Change guide to mindful co-parenting.

Plan for everything and anything

There’s no substitute for a detailed parenting plan. Agreeing in advance how you’ll handle various parenting situations — and putting the plan in writing — prevents conflict and provides consistency for your children. Whether a mediator helps you agree on the plan or you create it one-on-one with your co-parent, you’ll be glad you did.

Communicate clearly with your co-parent

The frequency and methods are up to you. Maybe you stick to written communication so you have documentation — say, by texting or using a parent messaging tool. Or maybe your relationship is healthy enough for unplanned phone calls. What’s important is that calm communication runs in both directions so you stay on the same page.

Put the children first

Above all, remember that co-parenting is about your kids. Make sure they always feel loved and safe. If you run into friction with their other parent, turn the attention to what’s best for the children. This has the added benefit of modeling cooperation and maturity for your young family members.


Ben Coltrin

Ben Coltrin was 21 years old when he quit his job to create the Custody X Change software, which helps parents track their custody schedules, create parenting plans, keep tabs on their child's expenses, and more. Nearly 20 years later, he loves sharing his child custody knowledge and improving the… MORE >

Featured Mediators

View all

Read these next


Bury Your Head in the Sand

Cinergy Coaching by Cinnie NobleIt’s not likely that burying our heads in the sand when in conflict helps to solve matters, mend the relationship, or clarify assumptions and perceptions. Sometimes...

By Cinnie Noble

Nonviolent Communication

From Arnold W. Zeman's blogHere’s an interesting seven minute video from the Nonviolent Communication Blog illustrating parenting with non-violent or compassionate communication skills. more about “The Nonviolent Communication Blog »...

By Arnold W. Zeman

The View from the Group: A Collectivist’s Perspective on Conflict Management in Organizations

International Center for Cooperation and Conflict Resolution Most research on organizational conflict presents a Western slant on conflict management at work. Expanding research to include non-Western cultures provides a more...

By Christine Tsai