You can make your marriage strong but you’ve got to acknowledge that disagreements are inevitable. They will occur when your interests, perspectives or opinion differ. Remember, you are unique individuals you are different and will see things differently.
Conflict can be negative or positive but this depends on how you manage it. Destructive conflict depicted by negative or unhealthy reactions, shouting, accusing, not listening leads to more conflict and should be avoided. Develop skills that will enable you bypass personal differences, find solutions, restore and sustain harmony. This will prevent minor issues escalating and threatening the union.
Good Communication
Take time to listen to each other
Dialogue about your differences do not be thinking of retaliating.
Don’t assume or jump into conclusions. Don’t read meanings into your spouse’s actions without hearing him or her out.
Ask questions to clarify issues and understand what he/she is saying or thinking. These are questions that will not lead to defensive response or argument.
Make Time for Each Other
Make time to give each other attention. Check up on how conversant you are with each other’s needs and how well you are doing meeting them. Bring up and discuss troubling issues. Cooperate to resolve them.
Reprogramming
Take grip of personal problems or issues from your background that might be affecting your marriage. Don’t view problems as ‘his’ or ‘her’ problem but as ‘our’ problem and unite to deal with them.
Mobilize against negative tendencies, anger, annoying habits and behaviors. Flee temptations, break negative desires, impulses and passions and create positive and productive ones.
Acknowledge your spouse’s qualities and attributes this will play down his or her weaknesses and shortcomings. Treat each other nicely. Be caring. Laugh and play together.
Be a Team
This is easy when you obey the biblical principles of submission and unconditional love. The woman in submission trades self-will and her weaknesses for godly strength and intuition. The man receives grace for humility and ability to put her interests first. This helps her reciprocate and defer to his spiritual leadership.
Remember before you got married you responded to his love and leadership expressed through his thoughtful initiatives, plans, gifts, taking you out even to places you were not too keen about. You shared his interests looked your best to please him and put up your best behavior. There was love, respect and togetherness. You can bring this back! When you cooperate with God it becomes easy to work as a team.
Relationship with the Initiator
Take every problem to God in prayer. Build a close relationship with the Initiator and Authority on the institution of marriage. Follow His design to build your marriage through obedience to His Word. This will transform you and transform your marriage.
That’s right, you have the necessary skills to deal with all the conflict in your life. Sure there are new skills that you can acquire, you can always build on...
By Jason DykstraThe mediation process is inherently flexible. Traditionally, it is used as a dispute resolution tool where parties can come together, call a timeout and reach a mutually acceptable solution. But...
By Aanchal Gupta, Jharna JagtianiJAMS ADR Blog by Chris PooleThe Occupy Movement has dominated headlines for the past several months and garnered significant attention. Though the movement is inherently political and certainly controversial, there...
By Chris Poole
