Find Mediators Near You:

Adjust Your Attitude: Go Positive!

From the blog of Nancy Hudgins

(This is the sixteenth in a series of posts on preparing for mediation.)

Lawyers who litigate for a living are apt, at times, to take on the persona of a warrior.
As a lawyer representing clients in litigated conflict, I have taken on my client’s causes as my own. Sometimes it feels like winning is everything and the only thing. The skill set used in day-to-day litigation tends to be zealous, aggressive advocacy.

When I speak to litigators about mediation, I sometimes start with what mediation is not.

It is not armed conflict.
It is not hand-to-hand combat.
It is not Moot Court.

Mediation calls upon us to use a different skill set. One that is more collegial, cooperative and collaborative. Best to leave the attack dog persona at home.

Effective negotiators listen to, and often out-listen, the other side. They accentuate the positive. They look for common ground. They talk about interests, not positions. They engage the other side in problem solving. They figure out ways to create value.

To be an effective negotiator, changing your attitude can reap rewards for your clients. Imagine a mediation in which you “won” by creating value for your client. And in the process, you were your own best (albeit tough) self.

It starts with the mood and attitude you take into the mediation room. If you walk in feeling positive and optimistic, you’ll be more likely to stay balanced throughout the mediation and get a better result for your client.

Be positive. Stay positive. See the difference it makes.

                        author

Nancy Hudgins

Nancy Hudgins, a San Francisco mediator and lawyer, began specializing in civil litigation in the 1970's. She has represented both plaintiffs and defendants, chiefly in personal injury, medical malpractice, elder abuse and product liability lawsuits, but also in a wide variety of complex litigation, including civil rights, fraud and class… MORE >

Featured Mediators

ad
View all

Read these next

Category

The Life Goals Analysis: A Powerful Mediation Tool

When discussing my book Seven Essentials for Business Success:  Lessons from Legendary Professors last year during a Great Reads Book Club session, I mentioned that great mediators employ the same...

By George Siedel
Category

You Might Have more in Common with Bill and Melinda Than You Think…

Joy Rosenthal's Mediation BlogBill and Melinda Gates recently announced that they are divorcing after 27 years.  Besides having to address their billions of dollars and their enormously influential foundation, this...

By Joy Rosenthal
Category

The Conflict Iceberg

Conflict Management Blog by Cinnie NobleFor this week’s blog I thought I would bring back a blog that was very popular a few years ago. So, this one is from...

By Cinnie Noble
×