Mediates by Meredith Richardson
Are you stuck in a rut in your relationship with someone?
Do you find yourself having the same fight over and over again? Are you doing the same thing over and over, even though you know it doesn’t help you and doesn’t get you the love or the results that you need? Well, here’s your problem in a nutshell:
Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again, while expecting different results. Narcotics Anonymous
You are on a habit loop, doing what you do because that is what you do. You do it that way instinctively, without thinking. Your brain goes there automatically, unconsciously.
If you want things to change, you have to wake up your brain. You have to make it respond consciously, rather than unconsciously. You have to train it to do something different.
You have to jump the track and take the road less traveled.
The road less traveled will be harder going in the beginning. You won’t know exactly how to do it. You won’t know whether it will work or not. It may feel uncomfortable. Actually, it is almost guaranteed to feel uncomfortable at different points or even, if you don’t like change, all the time at first until you get settled into a new habit loop.
Along the way, you may think, “Oh, this isn’t working. I want to go back to where it’s safe and secure.” And you can do that. That is always an option for you.
However, you may find that you like your new road. Your decision to change may bring you joy. It may spark others to join you.
In either instance, you will be choosing your actions consciously, acting proactively, rather than reacting. This will result in your being better able to make choices in your own best interest. In the end, that will help you to navigate conflict successfully.
As I look out of the window of my home office and take in the stillness of a complete lockdown that has been imposed in the wake of COVID-19, I...By Tara Ollapally