Conflict Remedy Blog by Lorraine Segal
Is talking about money scary, triggering, or confusing? Do you worry that there is never enough?
Issues around Money can be big emotional triggers for many of us.
As a communication and letting go expert, I help clients with a number of other issues as well, but for many of my clients, thinking and feelings about money and talking to others about money are a great challenge and source of conflict, fraught with fear, blame, confusion, poor communication, and regret.
Like some of my clients, you may fear there is never enough money, judge yourself harshly around money issues, punish yourself for past decisions and actions around money, or fight with a partner or family member. Do any of these sound familiar to you?
If money is a big source of distress for you, you are not alone. Some of my clients have dealt with very emotional issues around money, such as terrible conflict with siblings after the death of a parent, huge fights with partners who think and behave very differently around money, parents or other family members who use money as love or control, battles royal about money during a divorce, or simply feeling overwhelmed and totally inadequate to deal with money in an adult way.
I know I was definitely my own first client around money issues. I’ve come to understand just how much fear I had around money and scarcity, and how much I blamed myself for not knowing how to manage money better.
With a lot of spiritual and practical support, I began to heal this issue in my life. I posed the questions: What do I need to understand about money? How can I learn to make friends with money and relate to money differently? How can I let go of the past? And how can I communicate about money clearly and calmly now with partners, family, and others?
How can you do this, too?
First, get some help and support; we are not meant to do this kind of work alone. Then, start by letting go of the blame and shame and instead get curious about your (perhaps unconscious) attitudes and beliefs about money. When you get clear about what you’ve been thinking and feeling about money, you can forgive yourself and others for past mistakes, and begin to can think and act differently about money, based on better information, more positive new beliefs and inner calm.
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