Find Mediators Near You:

Resist the Temptation to Negotiate too Soon

Participants in mediation usually know how it ends: there is a negotiation and one party agrees to pay money to the other. So why not get right to it?

I am struck by a lot of dialogue that has gone on in the mediator’s blogosphere since the fatal shooting of a party to a mediation and his lawyer by an aggrieved party during a mediation in Phoenix. The most telling comment I saw was offering some humility to mediators. Though the disputants may know one another well, we have usually less than a full day to get to know two parties, their attorneys, the facts and legal claims. In truth, we have no real idea of who these disputants are, have been or may become.

What we do know is that even the most mundane of commercial disputes are rarely solely about the money involved. There is pride, there is ego, there is a lack of respect or communication or both. There is deep hurt, shame and sometimes status at stake. Taking time to listen, attempt to comprehend and then communicate in ways that have not been understood or respected prior to that day takes time. If you skip a step and rush to numbers, you will undoubtedly sacrifice some of the true benefit offered by this alternative dispute resolution process. A jury or judge can decide who is right and who is wrong and what the value of the case should be. A mediator offers a chance to do more than that–if you listen for the cues.

                        author

Jan Frankel Schau

Attorney Jan Frankel Schau is a highly skilled neutral, engaged in full-time dispute resolution. Following a successful career spanning two decades in litigation, she has mediated over 700 cases for satisfied clients. Ms. Schau understands the nuances of trial and settlement practice as well as client relations and balancing the… MORE >

Featured Members

ad
View all

Read these next

Category

Wakeen, Terry: Presence During Mediation – Video

Terry Wakeen describes her style of encouraging both parties to be present during the mediation in order to fully resolve peoples' frustrations and cases.

By Teresa Wakeen
Category

Menkel-Meadow, Carrie: Teaching Negotiation – Video

Carrie Menkel-Meadow teaches negotiation highlighting four different models and she believes that it is important to teach all four models.

By Carrie J. Menkel-Meadow
Category

The Nash Equilibrium In Real Life

From the Blog of Phyllis G. Pollack.       Last week, my blog discussed the Nash equilibrium which states that “. . .in every situation of competition or conflict in which the...

By Phyllis Pollack
×