Kalamazoo Mediation by Jeff Murphy
A recent study showed that couples who began their lives together by co-habiting before marriage had a higher rate of divorce than those who waited until the knot was tied. (The Downside of Cohabiting Before Marriage-nytimes.com)
Considering that 50% of all marriages already end in divorce, it seems counter-intuitive that having a “test-run” would cause even more break-ups.
Most “20-somethings” think it makes sense to live together before taking the plunge. But the evidence is different. It seems that in reality, people have a lower standard for moving in than they do for making a “Death Do Us Part” commitment. Couples think that co-habitation is a low risk choice with an easy way out if it doesn’t work.
But it doesn’t happen that way. Once the relationship is underway, (it usually starts with a few and then frequent sleepovers, followed by a decision to save money and have one pad), it becomes almost as difficult to end as does a traditional marriage. There is property to be divided, and there may even be children to be supported. Also, there’s a problem of admitting a mistake was made. So the couple slides into a marriage that would never have taken place if the hard question, “Do I want to commit to this person for the rest of my life?”had been asked before they stated down the slippery slope.
So-think before you move-in.