Conflict Management Coaching Blog by Cinnie Noble
Asking for Help When in Conflict
Pooh is a lot smarter than I am. I admit – I am reticent to ask for help when I am going through a bad time – including an interpersonal or (for that matter) an internal conflict. Truthfully, I seem to prefer to be there for others but, have trouble asking for help myself. My reasons vary – depending on the situation.
At times, I am not always sure what I want or need. Or, I feel ashamed about how I interacted and am worried about being judged (I’m already doing enough of that!). Sometimes, I don’t want to be seen as unable to manage the situation; other times, I am not sure I am able to express what’s really going on for me. Also, I don’t find everyone listens well, or can curb a tendency to give their advice, albeit well-meaning. And then, there are some who personalize my situation by telling me all about a situation when the exact same thing happened to them! Know what I mean?
This week’s Conflict Mastery Quest(ions) blog invites you to explore why you are not asking for help and what sort of help you would find most important regarding a current interpersonal conflict that you are agonizing about. Or, maybe the conflict happened in the past and you are still ruminating about it. In either case, if you are feeling reluctant to ask for help I suggest you consider if these questions shed some light on a way forward.