Search Mediators Near You:

Crazy, Stupid Love

Divorce Detox blog by Andra Brosh

Crazy Stupid Love, technically a romantic comedy, it offers an authentic and approachable picture of the earliest moments of separation and divorce. Cal Weaver (Steve Carell) is a 40 something committed husband and father of two whose wife Emily (Julianne Moore) tells him she wants a divorce over dinner on a “date night”. Ouch! Emily breaks the news within the first 5 minutes of the film, and within the first 15 minutes also shares with Cal that she has slept with a colleague from work. Thus begins the spiral that so often ensues for people like Cal who are suddenly and shockingly left by their long-term marital partner.

Cal and Emily are a typical couple who met young, had the kids, the house, and the cars only to lose sight of their relationship and what it takes to sustain a long-term marriage. Over the course of the movie we follow Cal through the heartbreak and confusion of separation as he struggles to figure out how this could have happened. Like so many married couples do, Cal has completely let himself go without even realizing it happened. Just when you start feeling like Cal is going to stay stuck in the past, in steps Jacob Palmer (Ryan Gosling), a charismatic womanizer who decides to take Cal under his wing, and to help him re-discover himself and his manhood…”If they can find where he left it”.

It may seem superficial, but just by cutting his hair, buying some new clothes, and changing his story, Cal transforms from sad, dweeby husband to engaged, charming single guy. What Jacob offers Cal is much more than a makeover. He forces Cal to drop his divorce story, to change his self-perception, and to face the reality of his situation. While Jacob’s plan goes a little haywire with Cal sleeping with multiple women to try and move on from Emily, what he does offer Cal is some helpful steps for getting his life back on track. Jacob prevents Cal from becoming paralyzed by the devastation of divorce, and helps him to “get moving” again.

Sometimes the most important thing to do when facing the early aftermath of being left is to focus on becoming the best possible version of oneself. This may be the person that existed earlier in the marriage or someone completely different. Re-gaining self-confidence, self-esteem, and dropping the divorce story are great places to start the journey toward healing. Crazy Stupid Love doesn’t focus on the final outcome and whether Emily and Cal reconcile. The film is based on Cal’s journey and what he learns about himself and the world at large from his experience. Crazy Stupid Love offers a great message for anyone facing the challenges of separation and divorce, and it hopefully represents a new trend where divorce is represented as an opportunity instead of a death sentence.

                        author

Andra Brosh

Relationship Coach, Allison Pescosolido, M.A., specializes in relationships, marriage, divorce, separation, and dating in the Los Angeles area and nationwide. MORE >

Featured Mediators

ad
View all

Read these next

Category

The Force Present in a Truly Transformative Mediation

An unforgettable experience that facilitative mediators encounter is the experience of being part of a truly transformative mediation.  It’s a dramatic change in the participants’ approach to reaching a resolution. ...

By Charlie Young
Category

Rojas v. Superior Court: The Battle of Two Opposing Public Policies

This article first appeared in the April 2005 issue of the Newsletter of the Mediation Committee of the Legal Practice Division of the International Bar Association (Vol 1, No 1),...

By Eric van Ginkel
Category

ACR Taskforce On Marketing Mediation

From the blog Mediation Marketing TipsThe following report was provided by one of my mediation colleagues, Patrick Westerkamp. Thanks Pat! I look forward to seeing what ACR (Association of Conflict...

By Kristina Haymes

Find a Mediator