I have been fortunate to train with Joan B. Kelly, who is world-renowned for her research, teaching and working with children of divorce. She is a clinical psychologist with a Ph.D. from Yale and, luckily, she lives in Marin County, so I have been able to attend several of her trainings.
Here are Joan’s Top Ten recommendations for divorcing parents on how to minimize the impact of divorce on their children. While she writes it for high conflict divorces, I think her wisdom applies to all divorcing families.
1. Talk to your children about your separation.
2. Be discreet.
3. Act like grown-ups. Keep your conflict away from the kids.
4. Dad, stay in the picture.
5. Mom, deal with anger appropriately.
6. Be a good parent.
7. Manage your own mental health.
8. Keep the people your children care about in their lives.
9. Be thoughtful about your future love life.
10. Pay your child support.
If you would like additional information about these recommendations, let me know.
If you are a divorcing or divorced parent, you’ll want to read her book: Surviving the Breakup: How Children and Parents Cope with Divorce.
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