Cinergy Coaching by Cinnie Noble
Forgive me. I apologize. I was an idiot. You didn’t deserve what I said. I was so wrong. I didn’t mean it. You are a saint for putting up with me. Will you please forgive me? In whatever form requests for forgiveness take, it is not incumbent upon the receiver to forgive. For some reason many people think they ‘should’ forgive or at least say they do. It’s just not always that straightforward.
When it comes to interpersonal conflict, we all have our own range of thresholds – what is forgivable and what is not. The nature of the relationship and history, the degree of hurt we experience, timing, what was said or done, how it was said or done, and what deeply held value or need was threatened, are just some of the variables that have an impact on our willingness to forgive.
Though we may think forgiving is a required response to an apology or request for forgiveness, the reality is that for many people some things are unforgiveable. In these cases, any amount of apologizing does not repair the pain and indelible marks left behind. There is just no rule about forgiving.
For this series of ConflictMastery™ Quest(ions) consider a situation in which someone in your life is asking or has asked for your forgiveness:
From the Blog of Phyllis G. Pollack. It always intrigues me how I learn about something and then an event happens that brings that new learning sharply into focus. ...
By Phyllis PollackYes, There Is Money in Mediation! Ten Success Secrets from Top (Non-Starving) Mediators. It isn’t exactly easy to make big bucks as a mediator, but industry standout Jeffrey Krivis says...
By Dottie DeHartKluwer Mediation Blog and Kluwer Arbitration BlogDespite the heavy workload, practicing international arbitration can be fun; you are always challenged by disputes arising from a diversity of issues that test...
By Daniel Dilor, John Lande, Raul Pereira de Souza Fleury