Tye Bourdony recently posed the question “How do mediators get better?”. The primary points of the article are neatly summarized as “experience, ongoing mentorship, having an open mind, ongoing training, constant learning, flexibility, and…by making mistakes.”
If you’re hoping that I will combatively disprove Bourdony’s point – you’re in for a disappointment! I agree with the author and make some suggestions of concrete directions we might go if we are looking (as we should be) to bolster our existing skills as mediators.
Practice makes (more) perfect
It can be difficult to find new continuing education opportunities that are interesting, innovating, or otherwise feel fresh and new to a seasoned mediator. Many trainings are designed for entry-level mediators. These are the “basics of mediation” trainings that typically fulfill the minimum state hour requirement for training in the category for general civil cases. This is where many mediators learn the basic judicial standards for neutrals, ethics, and become familiar with skills such as listening, reframing, and the mediation process. While important, this training is insufficient, a fact highlighted in Bruce Ally’s recent article. More training in how the justice system works, the expectations of the court, and general contours of the law in specific areas of practice might be needed.
This in fact forms the basis of many other more advanced trainings in the field. These are niche learning opportunities, such as those instructed mediators in updated child custody guidelines. Such training opportunities are primarily about rules, policies, or procedures applicable to a niche area of practice. While important in giving mediators guidance for adhering to new rules or guidance and training us in the legal ramifications of our work with the parties, these learning opportunities are not necessarily effective at boosting mediation skills or giving mediators practice in a new technique that could improve their work with parties seeking resolution. Or, at least, we don’t have empirical data to suggest it.
What we do know is that practice improves our work, specifically no stakes practice. In a study of court-connected mediation training in Florida, researchers emphasized the value of role play simulations in boosting skills (Raines, Hedeen, & Barton, 2010). In this study, the authors recommend:
that partial process role-plays (e.g. a simulation covering only the mediator’s opening statement, issue identification and agenda setting; parenting plans, etc.) would be a change that would add significant value to the current practice of mediation training. New training programs being established outside of Florida should consider ways to maximize the time spent on role-play, debrief and analysis in order to allow mediators to begin the process of incorporating these skills and habits into their practice.
The use of coaches who can provide real-time feedback for mediators-in-training is supported by research and, at this point, a taken-for-granted aspect of many entry-level mediation trainings (Antes and Saul 2002). Other research suggests using multiple tools for learning, including a written manual, in-person interactive trainings, and ongoing peer consultations (Applegate et al. 2021). This is further supported by Raines, Hedeen, and Barton (2010), who suggest using multiple teaching and learning methods to best train all types of learners and to reinforce learning through textual, oral, and practice mechanisms.
Despite this and other research indicating the need for access to continued education and benefits of observing real cases, finding opportunities for “no stakes” experience can be difficult for mediators, especially those who are more experienced. Training centers often do not regularly offer intermediate and advanced educational opportunities that focus on practicing skills in order to be coached, get peer feedback, and test new techniques and skills in “real time” within the safety of a no-stakes case. This is an area of opportunity for training centers. In Georgia, there have been some preliminary attempts to introduce these trainings, with positive results thus far reported by the Kennesaw State University Center for Conflict Management.
Observation
Observing other mediators who are mediating an actual case is a fantastic opportunity to see other styles, approaches, and personalities. It was in an observation that I first truly understood what it meant to be compassionate and neutral simultaneously, and research again emphasizes the importance of peer observations and consultations (Applegate et al. 2021). As opposed to a training environment, where the cases might be based on a real fact pattern but are simulated by role players who are not actual parties, an observation of a real case allows you to see the entire mediation process conducted by another person.
In some states, required case observations can be substituted with a practicum, wherein you observe role play simulation cases instead of real ones, and have opportunities to practice via role play opportunities in the classroom. While this is a valuable way to learn, as indicated above, it is not the same as observing real mediations. Specifically, the recommendation I make is to observe many different mediators in real-time. This offers the unique vantage point to see the various ways we approach issues, utilize our skills, and seek resolutions with the parties. The way that I might mediate may be quite different than the way that someone else might approach similar parties and issues. Thus, an observer might learn something different from me than they might learn from another professional.
However, the parties have to agree to have an observer present, and so does the mediator. Not all mediators are comfortable having an observer, and not all parties consent either. Expanding your existing network of mediators to meet others working in this field can help you identify new people to observe, exposing you to different skills, techniques, and tools of the trade. Debriefing after cases and asking questions about these skills, techniques, and tools you noticed during the mediation can provide further context and learning as well.
Concluding Thoughts
Continuing to boost your skillset as a mediator can be difficult, especially as you start to have more years of experience. While we learn from doing real cases, there are other ways of learning that are useful to us no matter how many years of practice you have on your resume. It can be frustrating to see the same basic mediation trainings offered over and over again by training centers, but there are ways to gain more skills and experience, even if you have years of experience.
If you don’t have access to continuing education opportunities that provide skills-based training, then I recommend reaching out to your training centers and asking them to provide these opportunities. If it is valuable to you, and you are willing to pay them in support of their time to coordinate the learning environment, get coaches, and manage the technology (if online) or in-person space (if in-person), then they are likely willing to provide these!
If you are struggling to observe other mediators, then I recommend that you network. Reach out to training centers and ask about networking opportunities, connect with the American Bar Association’s Dispute Resolution section, and find ways to cultivate a community of practice. These connections can garner referrals to your practice, but also give you the opportunity to observe others, consult with peers, and have others observe you and provide feedback. These connections are crucial to a thriving mediation practice, so I recommend getting connected and being open to observing others and to others observing you as well. In this way, even the most experienced among us can gain new skills and insights.
Do you work with or for a training program? Consider offering a monthly or semi-annually training that is skills-focused for your more intermediate and advanced practitioners. These can be simulated role plays directed at a specific topic (e.g., domestic violence, legitimation, etc.), or they could be more general opportunities for practice and networking. These opportunities could be developed with law firms, law schools, conflict resolution training programs, religious groups doing mediations, or other entities as well. There are many ways that we can reach out and begin developing these continuing education programs, and could serve as a vital resource to mediators who have experience and are looking to deepen their skill set in no-stakes settings.
References
Ally, Bruce (2025) “Does mediation training provide sufficient tools for success?” Mediate.com. https://mediate.com/does-mediation-training-provide-sufficient-tools-for-success-2/
Applegate, Amy G., Connie J. Beck, Jeannie M. Adams, Fernanda S. Rossi, and Amy Holtzworth-Munroe (2021) “Preparing mediators to mediate cases reporting high IPV in randomized control trial: The importance of a mediation manual, training, and consultation,” Family Court Review 59(4): 725-740. https://doi.org/10.1111/fcre.12605
Bourdony, Tye (2024) “How do mediators get better?” Mediate.com. https://mediate.com/how-do-mediators-get-better/
Raines, Susan S., Tim Hedeen, and Ansley B. Barton (2010) “Best practice for mediation training and regulation: Preliminary findings,” Family Court Review 48(3): 541-554.
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