Mediators as Love Coaches?

Valentines Day approaches and my thoughts are drifting to love. Well, mostly to the down side of love. Lots of song titles come to mind like:

Love Stinks
Torn Between two Lovers
50 Ways to Leave Your Lover

You see where I’m going. The course of true love- or any love for that matter- is not smooth. I’m wondering if us mediators- skillful communicators and keen observers that we are-can calm the ‘sea of love’.

Now, I’m not sure how this would work, or even if it could , but I can imagine a mediation practice that helps couples to:

• create habitation agreements that divvy up household chores
• articulate their thoughts and expectations around childbearing and rearing
• explore what level of honesty they want in their relationship

This last item really intrigues me. I have a theory about honesty…I think it’s very difficult to negotiate with your partner about what honesty actually means. There’s so much baggage around that word maybe relationships would be stronger if there was a way to explore it without the stigma of counseling.

Let me give you the example that started this thinking. In the recent movie ‘Friends With Money’, the husband tells his wife that her rear is getting big, to which she takes offense. He responds that as her husband, and because he loves her, it’s his job to tell her things that are true, albeit hurtful. She vehemently disagrees, countering that as his wife her job is not to hurt his feelings. What relationship hasn’t been through this loop?

This may be an item for a ‘Take This Idea, Please’ post. Let me know if you think I’ve been hit by a 2 x 4 instead of Cupid’s arrow!

Try. Fail. Learn. Love!

                       

Dina Beach Lynch

Dina Beach Lynch is a Workplace Mediator and Conflict Coach who supports professional practice groups. MORE >