Search Mediators Near You:

Nothing but the truth: Radical Honesty Movement Proposes A World Without Deception

They say that honesty is the best policy.

But given the lengths to which people will go to avoid confrontation or tough conversations, honesty may be the first casualty in human interaction.

Besides, is lying really always wrong? What if it serves noble ends? Isn’t deception just a social lubricant, allowing us to get along? Shouldn’t we lie to prevent harm to another? If lying is always wrong, then are studies in human behavior ethically indefensible? What about undercover police work? Or the bluffing, puffery, and lowballing that can characterize negotiations? (And let’s not even get started on deception in mediation.) Despite what we tell our children about lies, deception may be indispensable.

But a movement known as Radical Honesty proposes instead that the truth will set us free: it calls for no-holds-barred, “direct, open and honest conversation” as the best way to build meaningful relationships.

Journalist A.J. Jacobs recently took up the challenge. In “I Think You’re Fat“, an article from the July issue of Esquire, he describes his experiment in Radical Honesty and its impact on his work and personal life. Jacobs discovers one upside: “One of the best parts of Radical Honesty is that I’m saving a whole lot of time. It’s a cut-to-the-chase way to live.” The downside? Radical Honesty can be downright cruel. An acquaintance recovering from a recent tragic loss seeks Jacobs’ professional advice on poetry he’s written. Jacobs cannot bring himself to tell the truth: the poetry stinks. When faced with a choice between honesty or compassion, Jacobs opts for compassion.

Read Jacobs’ essay and ask yourself what choices you might make yourself. It’ll leave you thinking–and that’s no lie.

                        author

Diane J. Levin

Diane Levin, J.D., is a mediator, dispute resolution trainer, negotiation coach, writer, and lawyer based in Marblehead, Massachusetts, who has instructed people from around the world in the art of talking it out. Since 1995 she has helped clients resolve disputes involving tort, employment, business, estate, family, and real property… MORE >

Featured Mediators

ad
View all

Read these next

Category

Does Israel Need A National Program of Healing and Reconciliation?

After five weeks in Israel this summer—much of it spent watching the tragedy of Israel’s disengagement from Gaza, day by day, news cycle by news cycle—I left for home with...

By Jonathan W. Reitman
Category

The Importance of Flexibility, Creativity, and Being Prepared!

PGP Mediation Blog by Phyllis G. PollackRecently, I conducted two mediations that revealed the importance of flexibility,  creativity and being prepared. The first one was an alleged wrongful termination case...

By Phyllis Pollack
Category

Mediation 101 – Three Essential Concepts

Kluwer Mediation BlogThis week I spoke to a group of young legal practitioners here in New Zealand. I aimed low and went back to source. I suspect I got more...

By Geoff Sharp

Find a Mediator