Repurposing Our Conflicts

Conflict
Management Blog by Cinnie Noble

In the past few years I’m increasingly aware of the use and application of the word “repurposing”. It seems to apply to so many things – repurposing junk, clothes, furniture, gifts and so on. So, why not repurpose conflict?

As I thought about the concept of repurposing conflict, I considered that I don’t always know the real purpose for my conflicts. Do you? We might want to “win” a point about an issue, get our way, defend our viewpoint, assert how and why we disagree with someone else’s perspective, change something that upsets us, and so on. I must admit, I sometimes lose sight of the reason for my upset or underlying need and instead get caught up in the tense dynamic – losing my purpose.

This week’s Conflict Mastery Quest(ions) blog asks you to bring a conflict to mind as you answer this series of questions:

• What is the conflict about?
• What is the purpose of the conflict, from your perspective?
• What makes the purpose worth fighting about?
• How might the other person describe the purpose, from her or his perspective?
• What makes the purpose worth fighting about for her or him?
• What are you gaining from the conflict?
• What are you losing from the conflict?
• If you were to repurpose the conflict, what would its purpose be that you could discuss in a conciliatory way?
• What specific “junk” from the conflict will you repurpose? What purpose will you give it instead?
• What makes the repurpose better for you? What makes the repurpose better for the other person?
• What else occurs to you as you consider these questions?
• What insights do you have?

                       

Cinnie Noble

Cinnie Noble is a certified coach (PCC) and mediator and a former lawyer specializing in conflict management coaching. She is the author of two coaching books: Conflict Management Coaching: The CINERGY™ Model and Conflict Mastery: Questions to Guide You. MORE >