Texas Conflict Coach Audio Blog by Pattie Porter
How do I make my intentions to be conflict competent a reality?
Have you made a commitment to hone your conflict resolution skills this year? Are you struggling, even feeling like a failure? Let me give you a “rescue remedy” for bringing your good intentions to fruition.
Identify your triggers.
If a specific statement, action or person creates a conflict response, know this about yourself. Be aware of what triggers a negative reaction in you.
Ask some questions.
Think about a situation or a person which triggers a conflict or negative response for you. Ask yourself:
Make a commitment to your intention.
Write on card, “I am willing to practice being ___ (value or belief around this situation or person)
Example: I am willing to practice being forgiving.
This act of willingness says a lot about your commitment.
Translate commitment to behavior.
Identify the behavior(s) necessary to meet the commitment.
Example: I might ask myself, “How do I be forgiving?”
Then I look at the behavioral responses I personally have to change in order to be forgiving in this situation:
If you find it difficult to identify behaviors to support your intentions, think of what you are not doing when you are not supporting your intentions.
Example: When I am not being forgiving….
Get a mentor.
Pick a trusted friend, colleague or coach to give you feedback about how well you are doing in changing behavior. Have them observe you in the situation and give feedback in the moment or shortly afterward.
In my Texas Conflict Coach® podcast, I suggested an assignment to help make your intentions a reality:
To learn more about this topic, listen to the entire episode GOOD INTENTIONS OFTEN PAVE A PATHWAY OF GOLD…TO HELL