Find Mediators Near You:

Healing our Divisions in Troubled Times

Conflict Remedy Blog by Lorraine Segal

How can we heal the deep divisions in our country? How do we talk to each other with compassion and empathy across our differences?

My blog, which I have been writing for eleven years this month (!) is one small place to start.

I confess I am deeply grateful and relieved at the outcome of the recent election. At the same time, I am well aware that the divisiveness, the hate, the misunderstandings, anger and bewilderment are not going to stop automatically.

The goal of all my work around conflict is always greater understanding and compassion. Rather than honoring my anniversary by sharing my “top posts” in general,  I decided to feature my best 10+1 (in honor of 11 years) blog posts about how we can bridge that huge divide and heal ourselves and others.

I share my experiences struggling with anger and hate, the truths I’ve learned, what has helped me forgive, and the journeys of others who have inspired me. Each post is a gift of love from me to you. May they inspire you to walk your own path of healing, empathy, and forgiveness.

My Top Posts–Bridging What Divides Us

Separation as a Cause of Conflict and Violence Feeling separate from others and one’s own heart, lacking empathy for others, not seeing them as fully human, lacking a sense of how we are all interconnected, causes conflict and enables violence.

Civil Conversations with the “Enemy”, A Tool for Working through Conflicts How a granddaughter of hater Fred Phelps found her way to openness and acceptance of differences.

We’re all in this Together: Listening to Each Other in Troubled Times Listening deeply builds love and hope instead of hate.

Forgiving the World Can you forgive and accept the whole world? I started sending love, blessings, and forgiveness to the whole world, just as I taught and practiced with individuals.

Healing Old Hatreds One of the sources of unresolved conflict can be unconscious (or conscious) bias and prejudice. But instead of reacting, you can choose to respond and communicate.

Conflict and Hope for the Workplace and the World (my very first blog post, November 2009). To the Afrikaners, the ANC members were murderous terrorists trying to destroy civilization; to the ANC the Afrikaners were murderous racists, supporters of a repressive regime. And yet, the movie, Endgame, based in part on actual minutes of the meetings, showed in exquisite detail how these men gradually came to trust each other and form a cohesive working group. How did they do this?

Four Elements of Forgiveness 50 years later How John Lewis forgave one of the men who beat him almost to death on the Edmund Pettus Bridge in Selma, Alabama.

Divine Listening and Managing Conflict How does a loving Divine presence listen? With infinite understanding, with unconditional love, with awareness and acceptance of who each of us is and our inevitable human imperfections.

The Power of Envisioning Harmony How people can move beyond the limits of their own stuck thinking and open up to different perspectives, to bust assumptions about who the other person is or what is possible to resolve the misunderstanding.

The Path of Love in Conflict Management The path of love in conflict resolution doesn’t mean you have to like the other person. It doesn’t necessarily even mean you have to keep interacting with them. But it does mean letting go of resentments and looking at your own assumptions and behavior.

Empathy, Conflict Resolution, and the Fourth Dimension Empathy, entering into the mind and heart of another, can heal conflict for individuals and the world, as a science fiction novel by Robert Sawyer reveals.


Lorraine Segal

After surviving the 50's and 60's, as well as twenty years in toxic academia as a tenured professor, Lorraine Segal was inspired to started her own business, Conflict Remedy (, happily teaching, coaching, blogging and consulting around workplace conflict transformation. She is addicted to reading novels and enjoys walking and… MORE >

Featured Mediators

View all

Read these next


How to Make Mediation Safer in Cases of High Conflict

I would like to begin this article by thanking all of the mediators across Nebraska for their input on this important topic.  I am heartened to know that this is...

By Kristen Blankley

Do Generation Y And Baby Boomer Lawyers Need A Mediator?

I’ve written often here about the fault lines in the ADR profession - the deep rifts dividing facilitative and evaluative mediators, the line in the sand between attorneys who mediate...

By Diane J. Levin

Fear and Loathing Near Las Vegas

Institute for the Study of Conflict TransformationI haven’t seen it done in a while but in the past if a business wanted to draw attention to itself for a big...

By Dan Simon