Conflict Management Blog by Cinnie Noble
The other day a coaching client told me that she became angry at a man she works with who criticized how she managed a situation. She said he went on to “use himself as a model human being” by claiming he would never do what my client did. For my client, this added “insult to injury” and it offended her more than her co-worker’s criticism.
In our coaching session my client explained that she finds this sort of “righteous” statement sets up a dynamic she wants to change because whenever she encounters this attitude she retaliates with argumentative and defensive reactions. Essentially then, my client’s coaching goal is to better understand her reaction so that she doesn’t lose her temper and responds in more productive ways.
If you have reacted defensively when you feel you are being admonished or criticized and the person says something like “I would never…”, or “If it were me…”, etc., here are some questions to consider:
I had come up with an idea: what if I get Jane to agree to have us try a process where we use facilitative mediation approaches and techniques to have...By John Cabral