Find Mediators Near You:

Musings on the Mediator’s Job

I’ve been working my way through research notes for my upcoming book and today came across these excerpts on the mediator’s job from Winslade and Monk’s 2000 classic, Narrative Mediation. If you’re a mediator and you haven’t read it, you ought to. They have several worthy sequels, too.

“If mediation is about creating new meanings in a dispute where existing meanings have become stale or stuck, then deconstructive listening and deconstructive questioning are useful tools in this creative task…The mediator’s task is to unpack the suitcase and take out the pieces and hold them up for view by the parties. This unpacking involving adopting a naive posture and asking questions, not so much about the hidden depths of the suitcase but about the obvious and ordinary aspects of the baggage that comes with the dispute.”

“…the mediator is not listening to the stories people tell with a view to sifting out the facts or the truth from among the details of what people say. Such an aim risks communicating a subtle disrespect for people’s stories. It sets them up as falsehoods gained by personal bias and implies a process of replacing people’s stories with a higher truth based on a more rational objective account. The alternative stance is to listen to people as experts on their own lives.”

Your thoughts?

                        author

Tammy Lenski

Dr. Tammy Lenski helps individuals, pairs, teams, and audiences navigate disagreement better, address friction, and build alignment. Her current work centers on creating the conditions for robust collaboration and sound decisions while fostering resilient personal and professional relationships. Her conflict resolution podcast and blog, Disagree Better, are available at https://tammylenski.com/archives/… MORE >

Featured Members

ad
View all

Read these next

Category

Finding A Way Out Of Yugoslavia: Lessons From MOVE

Another place - another time - another violent conflict - but haunting parallels. In the 70's and 80's it was the predominately black counter-culture group called MOVE and the City...

By Paul Wahrhaftig
Category

How to Stay Calm During Difficult Conversations (like at Thanksgiving!)

Bob Bordone Teaches You How to Stay Calm During a Difficult Conversation Have you wondered how to control your emotions during a difficult conversation or how to stay calm during...

By Bob Bordone
Category

Najar on Dispute Management 2.0

Business Conflict Blog by Peter Phillips Jean-Claude Najar has labored in the fields for General Electric in such onerous assignments as Florence and Paris. He nevertheless maintained his good cheer,...

By F. Peter Phillips
×