Find Mediators Near You:

Nesting Divorce: When Co-Parents rotate in and out of the home

When you are considering a divorce, it is a reasonable question to ask whether you could stay in the same home as your ex. Co-parenting while sharing the same house is a growing trend particularly because of an increased consciousness about the impact of a divorce on the kids.

This parenting arrangement is commonly termed as “nesting” where the co-parents take turns living in the marital home so that the children do not have to move out. The non-adversarial divorce mediation process offers an opportunity to explore the possibility of nesting in a cooperative environment.

Skilled divorce mediators can explain the advantages of nesting to both parents where this arrangement may prove to be a win-win for both parties, and more so for the kids.

Benefits of a Nesting Divorce

At the time of divorce mediation, your mediator may shed light on the following advantages of this arrangement:

  • The co-parents share the divorce burden rather than the kids.
  • Children do not have to worry about switching homes.
  • Children’s schooling and community life may be more stable.
  • Both co-parents have better access to children and get a fair share of parenting time.
  • It gives the ex-spouses more time to sell the marital home (if they so wish at some point) and obtain a better market price.
  • It takes away the pressure and hassle of coordinating exchanges.
  • The living environment is safer for children, and both co-parents know where to find their kids in an emergency.
  • It demonstrates to the kids that their parents are willing to go the extra mile for good parenting despite their divorce.

What to Consider before You Choose Nesting 

While you and your ex may be agreeable to the idea of a nesting divorce, a seasoned divorce mediator will ask you to be mindful of various issues and make a carefully considered choice. Here some of the things your mediation expert may want you and your ex-spouse to think about before you dive in:

  • Will you be able to afford keeping two properties – your family home as well as an outside residence required for rotational living?
  • Are you and your ex willing to keep your differences aside and maintain mutual respect, which is vital to the success of nesting?
  • How much is the distance between your nest, your outside residence, and your workplace? The arrangement should not prove too tiresome or unfeasible for either party.
  • Are you prepared to continue nesting for as long as it takes for the kids to be a certain age or for them to get used to the fact that their parents are separated?
  • How will you divide the rent or mortgage payments, and how will the costs of groceries and other daily necessities be split during nesting?

Roseann Vanella

Roseann Vanella’s experience and credentials alone set her apart from other professional mediators in the state. She has an extensive business and financial background, and worked for many years in a corporate setting. Roseann is also very personable, down-to-earth, and she is truly passionate about her work. Having been through… MORE

Featured Members

View all

Read these next


Celebrate Groundhog Day! How Punxsutawney Phil Helps Me Help People

Did you see the classic comedy, Groundhog Day, with Bill Murray?  In the movie Bill Murray is forced to relive his day again and again until he changes himself to...


The Known and the Unknown

At a February 12, 2002, news briefing, Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld explained the limitations of intelligence reports: “There are known knowns. There are things we know we know. We...

By Phyllis Pollack

Porter v. Wyner and Mediation Confidentiality: A Loose End in the Aftermath of California’s Cassel Decision

On January 13, 2011, the California Supreme Court filed its opinion in the much-anticipated case of Cassel v. Superior Court (2011) 51 Cal. 4th 113. It’s fair to say the...

By Peter Huang