Optimizing Mediation: International Training Experiences

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International Mediation Training Experiences

Along with maintaining my mediation practice in the yurt, I became more active offering mediation training in the early 1990’s.  Among these experiences were extended trips to Lithuania, Singapore, Japan, the Netherland and Italy.  Needless to say, these experiences fortified my understanding of the growth of mediation as a global phenomenon, and one ultimately tied the democracy and the rule of law.

Partners for Democratic Change (1991)

Ray Shonholtz

Beginning in 1991, I had the opportunity to work with Ray Shonholtz and his organization “Partners for Democratic Change” (now called “Partners Global”) in Eastern Europe. 

The Soviet Union had just collapsed and Ray, with financial support from the U.S. State Department, was asked to organize conflict resolution and mediation trainings throughout Eastern Europe.

In case you are not aware, Ray also founded San Francisco Community Boards, which continues to this day after 50 years!  Tragically, Ray passed away in 2012.  His Mediate.com obituary is here.

Ray arranged for me to do two 5-day trainings in Vilnius, Lithuania.  I flew on “Lithuanian Air,” which was comprised of the 3 planes which still flew on the day Lithuania declared its independence, and the 4 parts planes that could not fly on the tarmac.  When I got to the hotel in Vilnius, there were only 3 cars in the parking lot. We also only had hot water every 4^th day.  And the toilet paper felt like sand paper.

These trainings were held at a local university and attended by approximately 30 representatives from more than a dozen newly free and democratic republics.  Some participants had real time translators. 

Partners for Democratic Change Training Participants

In addition to offering a generalized 40-hour mediation training, I also offered a 5-day training on establishing national (non-governmental) conflict resolution and mediation organizations. 

I forgot to mention that we would only turn on a few lights toward the end of the day to save on electricity.  Fortunately, I was not relying on technology or even lights for these trainings.

I believe that Ray selected me because of my work establishing the Oregon Mediation Association in 1985, and then becoming Executive Director of the national Academy of Family Mediators in 1987.  Ray was also an early and enthusiastic participant in ConflictNet beginning in 1988. 

Maciej Tański and colleagues back in 1991

To this day, I am happy to say that I remain friends with Maciej Tański from the Lithuanian trainings.  Maciej originally led the Partner efforts in Poland. 

I have a memorable story in which I received a call from my father, Jack, at the Lithuanian hotel in the middle of the night.  The “babushka” in charge of the hotel at night was awakened by a long-distance call and came to my room seemingly saying the word “Padre” (father in Spanish, I believe) and waived for me to follow her to the front desk where she gave me the house phone with my father on the line calling from Chicago.

The crazy news was that he and his radiology practice administrator had won a substantial chuck of change in the Illinois lottery.  The conversation went something like this: Dad: “You are not going to believe it.”  Jim: “What?”  Dad: “You are just not going to believe this.”  Jim:  “What is going on, it is the middle of the night here.”  Dad: I probably should not have even called.  I don’t even know if I should tell you.” Jim: “What the hell is going on” Dad:  “We won the Illinois Lottery.”  Jim:  “No way, I don’t believe you.”

Well the long and short of it is that the babushka in charge of the hotel presented me with a bill for over $190 the next morning just for that single 5 minute call.  Talk about missing the Internet!  I simply did not have the money to pay and the hotel did not take credit cards.  I was at a loss for what to do.  That is when I approached Maciej in our training as the person who seemed to both speak English well and who might have some idea of what I could do,

Maciej Tański

I don’t know how he did it, but, somehow, Maciej found a way to lend me the money I needed to pay the gigantic phone bill.  I have never forgotten that act of kindness.  I did, of course, repay Maciej.  And I take great joy these days in now remarkably seeing Maciej participating in the same Zoom webinars that I am attending.  How far we have come!

It was a bit of a shocker for my dad to win a nice sum from the Illinois lottery. I wondered if that would somehow change my life. My dad split the winnings with his practice administrator.  I learned that the two had been buying lottery tickets together for some time.  This also gave me pause in, for the first time, thinking about my dad as a “gambler.” 

The two principals did split things up, providing gifts to all radiology department employees and putting at least 5 children of radiology technicians though college.  I know that Jack also contributed mightily to a number of charities, including People for the American Way.  Dad did also fund a couple of large family reunions.  Beyond that, I did not receive any financial benefit from the lottery winnings, which I am actually appreciative of.  There is something to say for “making your own way.”

I did of course acquire the priceless story of my dad calling Lithuania in the middle of the night to share the news.  What a contrast it was sharing news of winning a lottery against the desperate (but free) background of Vilnius, Lithuania at that time.

On the day following two work weeks of training, our hosts took us to visit a historic Lithuanian Castle.  It was there that I received a message about how to “best sell mediation.”  That answer that I saw that day still rings true for me: “sell mediation like ice cream” – “the best ice cream!”

Training in Singapore – Eagles Mediation Services

I knew that things were taking off when one day there were 4 training participants from Singapore at my Eugene, Oregon mediation training center.  Among them was John Ng, Director of “Eagles Mediation Center” in Singapore and the author of Smiling Tiger, Hidden Dragon – Managing Conflict @Work and Home.”

John Ng – Eagles Mediation in Singapore

At that time, the Singapore Courts were just beginning to fully embrace mediation for family and housing disputes.  Following our training in Eugene, I was asked to travel to Singapore three times to train Singaporean mediators. In addition to being fascinated by Singaporean society, I don’t know that I have ever been treated more kindly as a visiting instructor

One of the Singaporean training groups

The group picture was surrounded by a number of thank you messages

And, just to be sure that I got the message of Singaporean appreciation, they also sent along this collage of training pictures:

Nice to be appreciated!

Meeting Michael Leathes & Irena Vanenkova (IMI)

In addition to providing training in Singapore and Lithuania, I have also had the opportunity over the years to train in the Netherlands, Italy, Spain, Japan and Canada. 

For what it is worth, my read is that Dutch training participants are the hardest working on planet earth.  Our trainings in Utrecht and The Hague tended to begin at 8 am and end at 6 pm.  (Italy, on the other hand, seemed to have the latest starts, longest breaks, longest lunches and we would often call things off a bit early.)

My work in Japan was for the U.S. Navy.  There is a large naval base in Yokosuka, near Yokohama.  Rather remarkably, I was offering divorce mediation training for naval officers, mental health professionals and religious representatives.  Apparently, the divorce rate between U.S. military members and local Japanese women at least used to be over 80% (within 2 years of marriage).  I enjoyed that our military was so attracted to mediation.

While in the Netherlands in 2006, I was pleased to meet Michael Leathes who was just then preparing to launch the International Mediation Institute.  I then also met with Irena Vanenkova from Russia, who came to initially manage IMI in the Hague.  Having started Mediate.com 10 years earlier and made plenty of mistakes along the way, Michael and Irena were “all ears” in setting up IMI as an Internet initiative .  Be sure to see the Tribute to Michael by John Sturrock.  And check out the Live Stream from Michael ‘s Memorial.

Finally, be sure to take note of the “Seven Keys to Mediation’s Golden Age” project jointly led by IMI and Mediate.com.  This project produced more than 25 articles by 40 authors and another complimentary set of approximately 20 video interviews.  Also be sure to see Michael Leathes’ Mediate Author Page.

See: www.mediate.com/7Keys

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