Find Mediators Near You:

Playing Nice

From the Blog of Phyllis G. Pollack.

        Most of the cases that I mediate are in litigation. They are lawsuits in which each party has hired an attorney to represent him/her zealously, if not, aggressively. Many of these attorneys approach litigation as they would war: take no prisoners, scorching the earth as they “fight” their way to victory!
 

      However, a recent Harvard study reveals that these attorneys and the parties they represent may gain a lot more by playing nice. That is, “nice guys do finish first.” (Id.)
 

      The Harvard study, published in the March 20, 2008 issue of Nature (Volume 452, No. 7185), involved a 100 Boston-area college students playing “a punishment-heavy version of the classic one-on-one brinksmanship game of prisoner’s dilemma.” (Id.):
   

         “Common game theory has held that punishment makes two equals cooperate. But when people compete in repeated games, punishment fails to deliver. . . .” (Id.)

 

       The study found that those who used punishment were the losers. “Those who escalate[d] the conflict very often wound up doomed.” (Id.)
     

        In contrast, those who turned the other cheek and continued to cooperate with a nasty opponent received more rewards.
 

      When considered in the context of a mediation, the results of this study make sense. The purpose of mediation is to reach a resolution that meets the needs and interests of all parties concerned. Mediators (including me) often take an integrative bargaining approach (i.e., win-win) in mediation rather than a distributive bargaining approach (i.e., win-lose). If the parties accept the former approach, they often find that the deal struck in settlement is more satisfying as it meets more of their needs and interests than a deal stuck using distributive bargaining (or a zero-sum game approach). In essence, by working with the opponent (rather than against the opponent) in a cooperative manner, both parties gain more.
     

       In my day-to-day life as a mediator, I have seen this cooperative approach work, over and over again, resulting in settlements that meet the parties’ needs and interests. I am now happy to learn that this everyday experience has been confirmed by academia and scientific study.
   

         . . . Just something to think about. 

                        author

Phyllis Pollack

Phyllis Pollack with PGP Mediation uses a facilitative, interest-based approach. Her preferred mediation style is facilitative in the belief that the best and most durable resolutions are those achieved by the parties themselves. The parties generally know the business issues and priorities, personalities and obstacles to a successful resolution as… MORE >

Featured Members

ad
View all

Read these next

Category

On Becoming a Rationally Irrational Negotiator/Mediator: The ‘Messy’ Human Brain and the ‘Myth of Rationality’ – Part 1 of 5: The Irrationality of Being Too Rational

Links to the entire series Part 1 of 5 Part 2 of 5 Part 1 of 5.   The Irrationality of Being Too Rational “...consciousness (is) a form of comedy close...

By Robert Benjamin
Category

New Book From Bernie Mayer

Take a peek inside Bernie Mayer's brand new book with this free chapter. "Staying with Conflict offers a new paradigm for dealing with long-term disputes: When dealing with enduring conflict,...

By Geoff Sharp
Category

The Need to Be Right

Conflict Management Blog by Cinnie NobleOne of the many attitudes to conflict that derails interpersonal conflicts (and most conflicts, really) is a need to be right. Having to “win”, to...

By Cinnie Noble
×