Find Mediators Near You:

Ethical Intelligence in Conflict Engagement

Disputing Blog by Karl Bayer, Victoria VanBuren, and Holly Hayes

I recently read the book Ethical Intelligence by Bruce Weinstein, PhD, also known as The Ethics Guy. The subtitle of the book is “Five Principles for Untangling Your Toughest Problems at Work and Beyond”.

In Chapter 10, titled “If I Am Not for Myself, Who Will Be? Ethical Intelligence with Yourself” Dr. Weinstein talks about “Five Rules of Engagement” for dealing with anger using ethical intelligence.

1. Stop. Don’t react right away. Take some time to assess what is going on.
2. Breathe deeply. Cooling down will make it easier to come up with a strategy that will succeed.
3. Look at the matter from another point of view. What are all of the possible explanations for why this is happening?
4. Ask, “What response is most likely to be effective?” It probably won’t involve blowing your stack.
5. Get help if need be. The problem may be too big to handle alone. Help can even be in the form of some feedback from another person.
The book is based on five overall principles of ethical intelligence:
1. Do No Harm
2. Make Things Better
3. Respect Others
4. Be Fair
5. Be Loving
To read more about Ethical Intelligence, see here.


Holly Hayes

Holly Hayes Bovio received a Masters in Health Administration (MHA) from Duke University and her undergraduate degree from Southern Methodist University. She holds a certificate in mediation from Texas State.  Holly brings a strong hospital operations background to healthcare mediations including a focus on clinical quality.  Holly managed her own consulting… MORE >

Featured Members

View all

Read these next


Foreclosure Mediation Program – Video

Court Clips, a video, informational program produced by the New Jersey Courts, explains the foreclosure mediation program. The programs facilitates mediations between lenders and homeowners. It is available to qualifying...

By New Jersey courts New Jersey

AudioBlog: Fairly Legal Returns

Texas Conflict Coach Audio Blog by Pattie Porter March marks the return of Kate Reed and the second season of the USA network television show Fairly Legal. Kate continues to...

By Patricia Porter

Using Semiotics With Conflict Resolution

Below is my newest article on semiotics and nonverbal communication. Of course the 'spin' from the mediation and the conflict resolution perspective is, in order to be effective at helping...

By Jeff Thompson