Mediate.com is looking for experienced dispute resolution professionals who are interested in guiding the next generation of mediators, ombuds and conflict resolution specialists as mentors with the new Mediate.com Mentorship Program.
Whether you have spent decades in the field or just a few impactful years, your insight and encouragement can make a lasting difference. By becoming a mentor at Mediate.com, you will be displayed on this page at Mediate: https://mediate.com/mediator-mentors so you can be directly contacted by potential mentees.
In order to select a mentor, mentees must first join Mediate.com as a Basic, Premium or Featured Member. See www.mediate.com/Membership
Thanks to both mentors and mentees for taking part in the Mediate.com Mentorship Program! Mediation, and conflict resolution more generally, can be a fairly isolating profession. We rely on each other to train and counsel the next generation of conflict resolution professionals. Thanks for taking part!
What Does “Becoming a Mentor” Mean?
It means joining the mentor directory so you are available to be contacted by potential mentees and also that you can be available for at least one hour per month, on your own schedule, to answer questions and offer mentoring guidance. A new mediator will likely have questions regarding fees, marketing, difficult cases, professional etiquette, networking, etc.
Who Can Be a Mentor?
You must be a Premium or Featured Member at Mediate.com with at least Practitioner or Senior level experience (as indicated in your Mediate.com profile) to be a displayed as a mentor at Mediate.com. You can learn more about this program at https://mediate.com/mentorship
To qualify to be a Mediate.com Mentor, your profile must show your qualifications as Practitioner or Senior Mediator level (2 or 3 stars). You can adjust this in your profile under “Select Your Qualification Level”. You must also access your account and check: “I would like to be a mentor.” Doing so will place you on the Mediate.com Mentors page at https://mediate.com/mediator-mentors. This link is only accessible to mentees who are members of Mediate.com.
Should you ever want to stop being listed on Mediate.com as a mentor, simply uncheck the “I would like to be a mentor” box in your Mediate.com profile. If you have any questions on the program, please email us at [email protected].
Mediate.com Mentorship
Guidelines and Recommendations
Mentorship Program Assumptions
- Each mentor is an accomplished, experienced and proven mediator, ombuds or conflict resolution professional with knowledge, connections and experience.
- Given the lack of mentorship opportunities in our field over past decades, it is likely the mentors will have had limited, if any, experience as a mentee or mentor. This experience will be new. Mediate.com is committed to fortifying mentor knowledge and confidence with supportive online webinars and materials.
- The understandable default mentorship approach is likely to be advice giving. And, in many instances, what mentees seek is advice (e.g., sources of information, local resources, courses and webinars, AI platforms and other applications for managing their practices, etc.). It is equally likely, that mentees will benefit from guided process of self-discovery that leads to finding their own answers.
- Mentees may too often look for quick fixes, ready answers and handy advice, rather than challenging themselves to look more deeply for their own answers.
Mentorship Program Principles
- Mentoring is driven by the mentee’s professional goals and objectives, their vision for their practice, and their motivation, commitment and determination. It should not become an opportunity for the mentor to shape the mentee into a particular form of practice (“Let me tell you how this should be done” is a phrase that should not be utilized.)
- The relationship between mentor and mentee is generally long term (i.e., 6 months or longer) to allow opportunities for a trusted relationship to develop. Both mentor and mentee need to trust that the other will be candid, supportive and non-judgmental.
- To achieve a warm relationship, the mentor-mentee interactions may well be informal and relationship-based.
- Despite the informality in the mentor-mentee relationship, having clearly defined roles, goals, methods, etc., is also essential to create a stable and predictable structure within which the relationship can flourish.
- Application of lessons learned and insights gained are the sole responsibility of the mentee.
- Helpful mentoring begins with clearly stated problems and questions. For example: what is the mentee seeking, how will it benefit the mentee, and how will answers or lessons be applied?
Recommended Mentorship Program Practices
- Each mentor will have a distinct approach to the mentoring process. Deep practice experience will have informed and shaped their thinking and therefore their methods. There is no single mentoring approach that works consistently and for every mentee. Each mentor has a unique way of looking at and addressing problems. Disclosing their methods during the initial mentor-mentee conversation is as vital as having the mentee describe their aspirations and objectives.
- Generally, guiding rather than advising produces relevant learning and lasting lessons. There will be situations that clearly call for a direct answer (e.g., What court rules or statutes apply in situations such as this? Are there software programs that would best suit my needs? Can you recommend a web-designer? Where can I find examples of Agreements to Mediate?). Equally or more likely, the mentee’s question will be better addressed first through inquiry that invites self-examination. (e.g., Does the principle of confidentiality apply in this situation? How do I build a referral network? How much time should I spend with parties, via phone or email, before the formal mediation begins? When is it ok to offer information or advice to parties?).
- Clearly defining the question will not only lead to a better answer for the mentee, it helps the mentor determine whether to guide or advise.
- Recognizing each mentor’s unique style, orientation and methods, there are some important reasons to use advice sparingly. Among these reasons are:
– Instead of building confidence, which is gained through self-awareness, offering advice may undermine a mentee’s autonomy and self-assurance. It’s really the principle of self-determination put into action.
– Advice, unless carefully tailored to suit a specific request of the mentee, can undue a warm, trusting relationship and may cause a lack of candor.
– The mentee may feel directed, even manipulated. This is a power heavy relationship. Thus, the mentor must be scrupulous in exercising this important, but potentially risky, approach.
– When mentees are given the answer, without first searching for their own solutions, it may reduce opportunities for lasting learning and for building their own capacity for problem solving. And, as we have known for decades, people are more likely to implement solutions for which they claim ownership.
– Mentors are not infallible. We may be misguided. In the spirit of being helpful, we may also act with a measure of bias.
- Relying heavily on open-ended, exploratory questions will ensure a warm, trusting relationship, allow the mentee to define clearly the problem or question at hand, give the mentor and mentee an opportunity to explore the nature and terrain of the question, and develop or identify an answer (whether self-discovered or offered as advice) that will stick (it will be relevant, responsive, useful, claimed and honored).
Clare Fowler
Clare Fowler is Executive Vice-President and Managing Editor at Mediate.com, as well as a mediator and trainer. Clare received her Master's of Dispute Resolution from the Straus Institute for Dispute Resolution at the Pepperdine University School of Law and her Doctorate in Organizational Leadership, focused on reducing workplace conflicts, from Pepperdine… MORE >
Michael Lang
For over 40 years Michael has mediated family, workplace and organizational disputes. He has designed and presented introductory and advanced mediation and conflict management courses, workshops and webinars in the US and internationally. Michael created one of the first graduate programs in conflict resolution in the US at Antioch University… MORE >
Jim Melamed
Jim Melamed co-founded Mediate.com in 1996 along with John Helie and served as CEO of Mediate.com through June 2020 (25 years). Jim is currently General Counsel for Mediate.com and ODR.com. During Jim's 25-year tenure, Mediate.com received the American Bar Association's 2010 Institutional Problem Solver Award. Before Mediate.com, Jim founded The… MORE >
