(Chapters, each with an AI podcast, are linked below)
This chapter explores the importance of establishing shared goals at the beginning of mediation. Rose introduces “macro questions,” designed to uncover shared values and goals, particularly concerning children, finances, and the process itself. These questions help clients relax and shift their focus from their differences to common ground, setting a foundation for successful negotiation.
This chapter examines dealing with client negativity and blame directed at the mediator. Rose uses the metaphor of “dancing” with negative energy, advocating for responding strategically rather than reacting emotionally. He emphasizes curiosity as a powerful tool for understanding the client’s complaint and guiding them towards constructive solutions.
This chapter critiques the concept of “neutrality” in mediation, arguing for its ambiguity and potential to mislead clients. Rose advocates for focusing on the purposes of neutrality – ensuring impartiality and addressing individual client needs. He emphasizes that a successful process requires meeting each client’s needs while respecting the other’s process autonomy.
This chapter focuses on achieving the “best interests” of children in parenting plans. Rose stresses the importance of client commitment to maximizing outcomes and recognizing their individual perspectives. He highlights the limitations of court-imposed solutions and encourages open communication and shared resources to develop flexible and mutually beneficial co-parenting agreements.
This chapter explores the power of language in mediation. Rose reminds mediators and clients alike that words matter, advocating for mindful communication and strategic word choice. He cautions against accusatory or blaming language and encourages the use of respectful, inquisitive, and informative language to create a safe and collaborative environment.
This chapter addresses the challenges of mediating with difficult clients. Rose recounts a session with particularly challenging clients, outlining his escalating interventions and the need for adapting strategies to manage the situation. He highlights the effectiveness of caucuses in establishing individual connections and addressing specific concerns.
This chapter discusses the importance of having a clear process map for mediation. Rose encourages mediators to visualize their process, considering how the beginning informs the end and how outcome goals shape the initial stages. He emphasizes the value of a structured process in managing expectations, navigating contingencies, and guiding clients towards successful resolution.
This chapter reflects on the concept of “perfection” in mediation. Rose recalls a humorous video project, contrasting objective perfection with the subjective nature of mediation. He uses a case study to illustrate how pre-mediation preparation and effective communication can lead to successful outcomes even in challenging situations.
This chapter analyzes the use of preemptive strategies to manage challenging issues like spousal support. Rose advocates for addressing sensitive topics early in the process, anticipating emotional responses, and offering clear explanations. He emphasizes the importance of reframing potential roadblocks as opportunities for creative problem-solving.
This chapter explores the use of caucuses in the negotiation phase of mediation. Rose outlines a two-phase framework, separating exploration from negotiation, and advocating for caucuses to address individual needs and facilitate strategic decision-making. He emphasizes the mediator’s role in managing the process and ensuring clients make informed, value-based choices.
This chapter focuses on navigating tax issues in divorce mediation. Rose highlights client misconceptions and the need for proactive tax planning. He stresses the importance of maximizing financial benefits for both parties and offers specific questions to guide discussion and ensure informed decision-making.
This chapter uses Newtonian principles to illuminate relationship dynamics in mediation. Rose introduces “Newton’s Laws of Relationships,” emphasizing individual uniqueness, the futility of changing others, and the cyclical nature of action and reaction. He demonstrates how these principles can guide strategic behavior, emotional management, and collaborative negotiation.
This chapter provides a framework for discussing financial issues in divorce mediation. Rose advocates for shifting the focus from individual issues to a comprehensive Cash Flow analysis, encompassing all relevant financial matters. This approach promotes transparency, identifies interdependencies, and encourages collaborative problem-solving.
This chapter offers insights into managing holiday co-parenting challenges. Rose uses personal anecdotes to normalize the difficulties and offers practical advice for navigating conflicting desires and creating workable schedules. He emphasizes the importance of prioritizing children’s needs and fostering positive relationships within blended families.
This chapter explores the complexities of trust issues in mediation. Rose acknowledges the prevalence of breaches and the challenges they present, offering strategies for normalizing the experience, identifying different types of trust issues, and emphasizing the distinction between trusting the person and trusting the process. He highlights the mediator’s role in facilitating the development of “process trust” and encouraging strategic decision-making that minimizes reliance on interpersonal trust.
This chapter examines the mediator’s role as an “agent of reality.” Rose describes the importance of helping clients understand legal and practical realities, distinguish between subjective perspectives and objective facts, and identify all available choices. He emphasizes the empowering nature of this role, helping clients make informed decisions and negotiate effectively.
This chapter provides a set of “drop-dead” questions for mediators facing impasse. Rose outlines five simple but powerful questions designed to redirect the process, clarify client goals, encourage self-reflection, and facilitate constructive dialogue. He emphasizes the value of having a toolbox of reliable interventions to navigate challenging situations.
This chapter focuses on balancing individual client needs while maintaining impartiality. Rose emphasizes the importance of preparing clients for the reality of differing needs and securing their permission to address those differences. He highlights the distinction between treating clients equally and acting impartially, advocating for a nuanced approach that meets each client’s unique needs.
This chapter discusses the relationship between mediation and collaborative practice in family law. Rose, a highly experienced mediator, initially viewed collaborative practice with skepticism but came to see its value, highlighting the shared principles and potential for synergy between the two approaches. He emphasizes the client-centered nature of both methods and predicts that collaborative practice will ultimately benefit the field of mediation.
This chapter examines the revolutionary nature of the Collaborative Law movement. Rose traces the evolution from mediation to Collaborative Law, highlighting the contributions of both approaches and the challenges of integrating facilitative principles into a legal framework. He expresses concerns about the potential for ambiguity in the term “collaborative” and advocates for clear distinctions between models to empower consumer choice.
This piece draws parallels between international peacebuilding and domestic mediation. Rose relates his experience attending a keynote address by John Paul Lederach, highlighting the universal importance of personal responsibility and relational mutuality in conflict resolution. He emphasizes the significance of applying these principles to both global and local contexts, recognizing the profound impact of domestic peace-building in the lives of individual clients.
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